Being Imperfect

I've always been told that I'm a perfectionist, and at first, I didn't recognize the downside of that. Because, doesn't it just mean that most of the things you do are perfect? That was, until I started chronically beating myself up. See, there's a degree with everything, and so is the scale of perfectionism. When I was in university, I swung too much to the "perfect" end and felt like I was never good enough. I had really amazing discipline back then and really good grades too. If I set a goal, I always accomplish it. But although I often even exceed my targets, I felt extremely incompetent, and developed lower and lower levels of self esteem.

Since I graduated, I've been working towards a healthier mind set. I saw a psychologist for a few years, and she was the one who really reiterated the "danger" of being a perfectionist. It was only then that I started believing that I needed to learn about accepting my imperfect self.

For the past month I've undertaken a 30 day yoga practice through a Youtube channel. This was a good chance to get 30 days of mild yoga in before my Japan trip and maybe get a little more toned for my own good as well. But more than anything, this was an affirmation to myself that I still got the same level of will power that I did back when I was always beating myself up, but this time, it would be from a positive and loving place. I didn't want to lose the kind of grit and persistence I had just because I'm no longer chasing after myself with a whip.

As the days go by, I experienced both good and bad days. I've actually decided to spread the 30 days of yoga over approximately 40 days, but would do other types of workout on the days I wasn't doing yoga. Regardless, I would finish all 30 days before I leave for Japan. Although there were a couple of times I've doubted whether I could finish the entire thing, it was the egoless side of my will power that quieted my mind down and allowed me to plow forward.

Yesterday was day 29, and I'm leaving for Japan the day after tomorrow. Things were going perfectly and I could see the victorious finish line right in front of me. I could almost taste the sense of accomplishment, and Japan was going to be my reward. I got cocky. "I'm definitely finishing this" I thought to myself, "see, piece of cake, and I still have so much energy left". With that in mind, during a wide legged forward fold, without really warming up my legs or preparing myself for it, I forced my head to drop on to the pillow in front of me because I "wanted" myself to be able to touch the ground with my head.

Something happened. Even till now I'm still not completely sure what, but I know I rolled my neck and my weight landed on that rolled neck for a few seconds before I could push myself back out of the pose with my hands, and that's when I felt the pain down the back of my neck. It hurt, and it didn't feel right, but my ego wouldn't allow it. "Day 29" it said to me, "you're not stopping now". So I pushed myself through the rest of the video hoping the pain would go away like a cracked knuckle, and even did a few shoulder stands.

But it didn't.

The left side of my upper back cramped up and I couldn't move my neck without tearing up. I knew immediately that I had pulled or tore something. Guilt and shame stormed in like a tsunami, drowning me in a million "should've, could've, would've"s. I noticed I was starting to beat myself up about this, and struggled to be kind to my injured body and mind, but negative thoughts sneaked in.

"There are only 2 days to go before you have to fly, you sure have impeccable timing!"
"Oh wow, a wide legged forward fold and now you're a paraplegic, and you thought you were strong?"
"Why do you always have to be so clumsy?"
"You always let your ego get the best of you."

It hurt. The bullying I was doing to myself hurt way more than my neck and back.

But I'm not the same person anymore, I'm much more equipped to deal with the negative self talks than when I was young and I'm also much more aware of the stakes at play. I tried to calm my mind and went through the protocols I've established over the years for combating negative self talk when I fail at being perfect:

1. Recognize reality for ONLY what it really is
A lot of the times we tell ourselves stories that aren't true, like all the negative self talk I wrote above. Instead of making up stories, try to see reality for what it really is and nothing more. In my case, I've hurt myself as a result of trying to better my health, now that I'm hurt, I should rest and heal. That's it. Reality is often much simpler than we make it out to be. Though it may not be a bad thing to have dramatic flare, try to savour that another time.

2. Think of solutions that will actually help
Beating yourself up is like hitting your leg after you've broken it. It simply doesn't help. After recognizing what the real problem is, which in my case is the injured neck/back, focus on solutions that actually aid in your healing. I used to think that if I beat myself up enough I could prevent the same mistake from happening again in the future, but freak accidents happen, and there's no way you can prevent them from happening without living like a bubble-wrapped agoraphobic hermit. So stop dwelling on what doesn't help, and take action on what does.

3. Take a break or treat yourself
Speaking of what helps, taking a break really helped my neck. I canceled all my subsequent plans, became an underachiever for the rest of the evening, and slept as much as I could. Although I still needed to pack for my trip, still had to work, I embraced the philosophy of "taking it easy" and took it very seriously. I find that this method is also applicable in other situations that may not involve an injury. Taking a break or treating yourself when you feel inadequate is the quickest way to improve your sense of self worth and it helps you hop back on the horse sooner than if you were to ruminate on things that are out of your control.

4. Challenge your negative self talk
Even though I've been practicing accepting myself for my imperfections for years, the deeply entrenched negative voice can't help feeling that it still has an important role to play, and it's pretty vocal. Well, my solution to that is to talk back. Challenge your negative self to really think about what's real and what's not. Am I really an epic failure because I hurt my neck? Or am I just human and we all make mistakes? Don't validate the things your negative self wants you to believe by staying silent. Research show that positive outlook are most likely to yield positive outcomes anyway, so shush it up by putting a positive spin on the things it says.

5. Don't quit
The truth is, no one needs to be perfect. One's opinion on what's perfect is often imperfect for another, and that's why it's dangerous to aim for perfection - it's arbitrary, and often does more harm than good. What is "good enough" and what is "more than enough" has to be determined case by case, person by person. Only you can decide who you are and who you want to be. Change is hard, but not giving up is the key. There will always be good and bad days. Days your self esteem seems untoppable and days that you're reminded of just how imperfect you are. But regardless of where you are now and where you want to head towards, aim for love. If you can recognize that you deserve to be loved and that you are loved, not only is being perfect no longer the goal, it becomes completely irrelevant.

I know it's crunch time for me and I still have quite a few things to do before I leave on my trip, but I have help, and knowing I deserve some kind gestures after my injury, I'm happy to chill out some more, and let everything be imperfect.

Atlantic Salmon & Spam Kimbap 김밥

Keith and I sometimes make our own version of Kimbap on the weekends. They are mild, tasty, and doesn't take a whole lot of time to prepare. In addition, they are easy to take for lunches or snack so we love it! According to "the internet", there are no set ingredients required to make Kimbap and they are basically seaweed and rice wrap something. Keith and I like using spam and cooked salmon, but you are free to put whatever you like.

Ingredients:

• 2 cups of short grain plain rice - cooked with plenty of water (I prefer rice to be on the sticky side than the dry side)
• 1 can of spam
• 1 fillet of salmon (roughly the size of 2 of my palms)
• 1/2 a shredded or julienned cucumber
• 1/2 a shredded or julienned carrot
• Yellow pickled radish (optional, we didn't have it this time so we didn't include it)
• 1 avocado
• Sushi nori (seaweed)
• Wasabi (tube)
• 2 tbps rice vinegar
• 2 tbps regular vinegar or apply cider vinegar
• 1 tsp sugar
• Salt / pepper

Directions:

1. Rice - use rice cooker or pot to cook rice. I usually put a little extra water when making rice for kimbap (2 cups of rice to 3-4 cups of water). You can adjust this to your own liking. After rice is cooked, let cool while mixing rice vinegar into the rice. Mix well.
2. Pickle the cucumber and carrots using regular vinegar or apply cider vinegar and sugar
3. Slice the spam into 1/4 inch slices and pan fry until fully cooked
4. Pan fry the salmon with some salt and pepper (or other seasoning according to taste)
5. Cut avocado and cooked spam into 1/4 inch strips
6. Lay out 1 sheet of sushi nori (seaweed) and sqeeze a thin stripe of wasabi from left to right
7. Take a big scoop of rice and spread evenly onto the seaweed
8. Put whatever toppings you like on like strips from left to right
9. Fold seaweed (I don't really use sushi mat or anything). Think up and over and press into a roll.

You can choose to cut the roll or not. We also sometimes wrap it in clear plastic wrap and take it to work directly like that.

Spring is Here! And We're Going to Japan!

We are so stoked that Spring has finally decided to stay in Calgary (we still had -10 degree blizzards just 2 weeks ago) and we have some exciting announcements to make.

Keith and I have been looking for tickets to Japan for about a year now. Keith's never been to Japan before and has only experienced snip bits of it during our 2 layovers last year. (Here's the post on the Narita Layover and the Asakusa Layover) I've been to Japan on a few previous occasions, but have always wanted to revisit as I really loved Japanese culture growing up, and can't wait to buy their intricately designed, super adorable nic nacs (and the 200+ flavors of Kit Kat) again.

About 3 days after we returned to Calgary from our Indonesia trip, we came across some super cheap tickets to Osaka, and snatched it right up. We've been planning our trip here and there every since, and am finally about to go on our vacation! We will be going to Osaka, Kyoto, Hiroshima, and hopeful the Shibazakura Festival near Mount Fuji.

As we wrote our Indonesian blog posts from memory, some parts may not have been as intricate as we had hoped it to be, but this time, we will make sure we write notes every day so we don't forget the little details of our trip. Hopefully, this way we will be able to write better blog posts and capture more details of our trip. So stay tuned!

Layover: Asakusa in 13 Hrs - Japan

In early 2014, we had a chance to travel to Taiwan and Singapore. We spotted a cheap ticket in September the year before, and bought it even though there was an overnight layover in Tokyo.

We don't mind these layovers though, as they simply provide an opportunity for us to "sample" another country without needing to buy a separate ticket. Most of the time, as we usually travel to Asia, we end up with layovers in Japan.

We don't mind this at all.

Sensoji

Japan, where the cities never sleep, countless supply of good food, provides the perfect layover experience for us. Not to mention, the people are courteous and the transportation outstandingly convenient.

We landed in the Narita International Airport around 16:30 and immediately hopped on the Skyliner into Tokyo. The Skyliner goes as far as Ueno, and because we have limited time, we decided to just hang around there. We booked a very reasonably priced hotel close to Ueno station, which we quickly found our way to, checked in, dropped our bags, and headed out on our adventure. (Read my review here)

I had never been to Japan, and although there are millions of destinations to pick from, Joy wanted to give me a solid "Japanese" image first so she thought Asakusa would be a good introduction. And was it ever! I was immediately mesmerized by the city lights and the juxtaposition of the old and new. We took a picture in front of the famous Thunder Gate, under the huge red lantern, and headed on in.

Asakusa

We walked through the strip of small shops right in front of Sensoji, where the road is lit by lanterns. The shops sold snacks and souvenirs; I bought a roll up painting of "The Great Wave off Kanagawa" and Joy bought a paper fan with bunnies on it.

Sensoji was magnificent, and it wasn't the only temple there. There were smaller pagodas around and they all looked exotic and amazing. After we walked around the temple grounds a bit, we decided to find places to have dinner (yes, "places", because one is simply not enough). The first place we went to was a BBQ joint in a basement. The servers there had a hard time understanding English, however, they did have an English menu, so we had no problem ordering our meals. We only ate a little bit, and headed right back out again, as I wanted to find my favorite -- Sushi!! Which we found right away. Not far from the BBQ place, there was a conveyor belt sushi shop, so we had some more food there.

Conveyor Belt Sushi

The night was still very young, but we were exhausted from jet lag. We struggled to get back on the train because Joy wanted to show me the famous Shibuya crossing. It was about a 20 minute train ride, and we both fell asleep on the train. Shibuya was very different from Asakusa and filled with shopping malls and commercial buildings. We walked through the famous crossing, but due to us being too tired, we headed right back down into the subway station and headed home to our hotel.

Although Shibuya might be where all the action is at, my heart was captured by Asakusa. You may think it's because I'm a cheesy tourist who simply fell into a tourist trap, but it was my first impression, and it will always be how I remember Japan.

Home Made Teriyaki Chicken - Yakitori 焼き鳥 Style

We bought some chicken thighs the other day and decided to make them one evening. Usually we just fried them with some spices, and eat them Shawarma style, but I felt a little tired of the same flavors, so I decided to try some home made teriyaki chicken, yakitori 焼き鳥 style.

Tare (Teriyaki Sauce) Ingredients:

• 1 cup soy sauce
• 1/2 cup mirin (Japanese sweet rice wine)
• 2 tbsps sugar (a lot of sugar, I know)
• 1 tsp ginger powder
• 1 tsp garlic powder

Other Ingrdients:

• 2 lbs de-boned chicken thighs (keep the skin)
• 10 ish bamboo skewers

Directions:

1. Boil the tare ingredients in a sauce pan using medium heat until it thickens and reduces to approximately half to 2/3 its original volume
2. Skewer the chicken thighs (make sure you fold the chicken thighs if they are too big)
3. Fry the chicken thighs directly in a pan on high heat for 3-4 minutes with a lid on, then turn the thighs to the other side and continue frying for another 5-6 minutes (it helps to soak the bamboo skewers in water first, so it doesn't burn)
4. Brush the tare on the chicken, and turn it over and brush the other side as well while the first side is frying. Fry for only about a minute, then turn the chicken over for the last time, and fry for another minute or so

Poppy Seed Kale & Swiss Chard Salad

A couple weeks ago Keith started having some trouble with his stomach. Whenever he ate anything too flavorful, too fatty, or whenever he ate too much, he would get severe stomach aches in the middle of the night. Yes, only in the middle of the night, for some reason. Even if he was fine all day, it would wake him up around midnight and lasts for about 2-3 hours.

After that persisted for a few days, we had to make a change to our diet. We reduced 80% of our meat intake and made sure he doesn't ever get too full. We started experimenting more with vegetarian dishes, and one of the dishes we made was this Poppy Seed Kale & Swiss Chard Salad. It was delicious and we hope you enjoy it too!

Ingredients:

• 2 leaves of kale
• 2 leaves of red Swiss chard
• Half a hand full of golden raisins
• Half a hand full of unsalted almonds
• Half a hand full of shredded carrots
• Half a hand full of shredded cucumbers
• 3 tbsp. of poppy seed dressing
• 1 tbsp. of flaked goat cheese (we used blueberry goat cheese)

Directions:

1. Chop kale and chard into small thin slices.
2. Crush almonds in mortar.
3. Combine all the ingredients in a salad bowl. We like to freeze our goat cheese as it makes it easier to flake with a fork.
4. Mix in dressing

Layover: Narita in 7 Hrs - Japan

Indonesian Trip BONUS!

Sometimes Joy and I will scout for cheap tickets for our trips, and the usual down side with that, is the amount of transferring one has to do in order to get to the destination. This, however, was not something we dread, as we simply get the opportunity to stopover in other countries without needing to buy a separate ticket. Depending on how long the stopover is, we may decide to explore the airport or venture into the city. For our Indonesia Trip, we were given the opportunity to stopover in the Narita Airport near Tokyo for about 7 hours on our way home.

Our luggage was checked directly from Jakarta to Calgary, which made it much easier for us to get around when we landed in Japan (otherwise we would've utilized some coin lockers or try to check our bags in super early). We got there around 8am and had to fly again at 4pm. We figured we had at least 6-7 hours to spend and decided to go to Narita. (Last time, we stopped over in Japan on our way to Taiwan and we went to into Tokyo overnight)

The Train To Narita

We went to the train, and bought the tickets without any problem. But as we headed down to the platforms, we weren't sure if all the trains departing from that platform stopped at Narita or if there were more than one kind of trains. Joy tried asking some of the passengers in the train but it seemed like none of them understood English, so we decided to just take our chances.

Naritasan Shinshoji

Surely enough, the train did go to Narita and we got there about 20 minutes later. We went to MacDonald's for breakfast (oh yeah, so authentically Japanese!) then headed down Omotesando towards the Naritasan Shinshoji Temple. It was still pretty early (around 10am) and many of the shops were just about to open.  The weather was overcast but warm, we walked around the temple grounds and snapped a few pictures.  It was Sunday, and many happy families visited the temple. Many people were dressed up, including little girls that were fully dressed in kimonos. They were adorable.

Omikuji (Lucky Draws) Tied To Strings

Time flew by quickly and we had to start making our way back to the airport for our flight.We leisurely walked back through Omotesando towards the train station and saw that shops now were fully open for business. Seems like there are a lot of grilled eel shops. There was one shop that were skinning and grilling eels on the street and a huge crowd of people gathered there to watch. We went into a few souvenir shops.

Narita Omotesando

Joy bought a square wooden sake cup and a pair of chopstick holders that look like disposable chopsticks.

Our Chopstick Holders that Look Like Chopsticks

There was a dairy store that sold milk products from a local farm, we got a Hokkaido soft ice cream cone and a bottle of milk. It was very creamy, rich, and delicious. Joy is a huge fan of Japanese milk, and think it's what "real milk" should taste like, but I just think they contain a lot more fat than then milk we have here in Canada. The other strange thing is, that although both Joy and I are lactose intolerant, we have no problem with dairy products from Asia. Not sure why, just thought it's interesting.

Our Conquests: Masks, Sakura Kit Kat, Taro Pocky...etc.

We could've stayed a while longer, but we didn't want to rush in the airport and headed back shortly after 13:00. We bought a bunch of snacks at the airport, and hopped on the last leg of our journey back home.

Seminyak - Bali - Indonesia 9/9

I've always been interested in architecture and in particular, the modern styles. Squared edges, the use of big windows, minimalistic designs and open floor plans has always been the kinds I'm drawn to. I've also been looking at magazine and online pictures for years and have always assumed that all of these buildings are too expensive for me to ever live in. Unless maybe some day, when I'm old and about to retire, I'd be able to save up enough money for one. I even looked at a vacation house rental in Portugal, but it was still too expensive. So you can imagine what a dream come true it is for me to be able to rent this awesome villa at the grand price of $125 per night, and little did I know, that Bali was filled with modern villas like this!

The Pool

The villa is a brand new build, tucked away in Jl. Bidadari, with an approximately 4 meter long pool (1.5 meter deep). There are 2 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, 1 in each of the bedrooms and 1 small guest toilet by the kitchen. The main bathroom has some trees, an open skylight, and the bath tub overlooks the pool. The main bathroom also has a double sink and a window that looks out the back of the villa into the rice fields. The bed frames in the 2 bedrooms are made by concrete and is molded to a divider closet so that the first half of the room is the bed, and the closet area feels like a walk in. The second bathroom also comes with a double sink but does not contain a bath tub.

Main Bathroom

The 2 bedrooms lay side-by-side, overlooking the pool, and the living/dining area is on the West side of the villa. The living/dining area is connected to the open kitchen and there are many beautiful artwork displayed all over the house. There was cable TV, a large sectional, some counters, and a table with 4 chairs. The stove/cabinets were also built-in and made with concrete. Along the far West wall is where most of the art work is displayed, and if you look up, there are skylights right above it. There are glass put in though, so the interior doesn't get wet when it rains.

Living/Dining Area

Further South along the far West wall is our entrance. It is a large wooden door with metallic handles, and in front of the door, is a pond with wooden platforms over it.

Front Entrance

There were plenty of plants all around the villa and even inside the main bathroom. My favorite of all, during this entire trip, is the Plumeria flower. They are so amazingly beautiful, especially the white and yellow ones where the pedals slightly overlaps each other. These flowers grow on trees and can be seen literally everywhere in Bali. There was one Plumeria tree in our villa right beside the pool and every morning we were accompanied by a half a dozen or so Plumeria flowers that ever so gently accents the water while we cool down in our pool.

Home Made Canang with Beautiful Plumeria Flowers

There were a gazillion lights built into this villa and at night, we'd turn on the longest row of light switches I've ever seen and the entire villa would light up like a Christmas tree. There were lights on ceilings, on the deck, in the pool, and even behind the plants.

The deepest end of the pool was about 1.5 meters. It's just over the tip of my nose, but still under Keith's chin. It's just deep enough to force him to swim, but shallow enough so he's not afraid he'll drown. I've taken him swimming back home a few times but he learned way more floating in our pool (mostly because it's too hot during the day) in Bali than he did in the months we went to the city gym.

We rented a scooter but the traffic was so crazy, and the scooter came with an almost empty tank of gas, so we quit after riding around the neighborhood for 15 minutes. There were some really nice restaurants in Seminyak that we went to, in addition to Bo & Bun, here are 2 that we really liked:

L'Assiette
One of the top ranking French restaurants on the island, L'Assiette is tucked away in a small street 5 minute walk from where we lived. We visited it early one afternoon and thoroughly enjoyed the restaurant interior decorations, the food, and the bill. I got the Duck Confit and Keith got a baby chicken, and both were cooked perfectly. The restaurant had a fusion feel to its decoration, with some really cool furniture and art work.

Baby Chicken from L'Asiette

Mamasan
Situated on one of the busiest streets and major intersection, Mamasan is one of the most popular restaurants for visitors. The restaurant serves pretty yummy and authentic Chinese food, and the interior design of the restaurant was very nice as well. The most representative of all, is the wall sized painting of an Asian "mama san". Bathrooms were on the seconds floor and the doors were hidden among a wall of mirrors. The price is quite expensive though, our bill ended up being roughly $75, though, we did get quite a bit of food, including some take out for our trip back home, which ended up being quite the life saver during our layover in Jakarta.

Mamasan

We booked a snorkeling lesson the day before we left through Bali Jet Set. They guys came to pick us up and we drove all the way to their beach side school in Tanjung Benoa. Honestly I don't know how Balinese businesses sustain themselves, let me explain. We made a reservation to have a private instructor teach us how to snorkel and also rented their under water camera, this was $80 combined, with no deposit necessary. This included a driver picking us up and dropping us off (45 min drive one way), a manager also came along for the ride and explained the process of the lesson to us. They had to pay a toll each way while driving us, which was also included. The school had it's own showers and equipment, so all you need to bring is your bathing suit. They provided towels and shampoo/soap. Then they boated us out into the waters (yes we had a private boat), taught us how to snorkel, then guided us around the boat a little. We then ventured a bit further out and continued to snorkel as the instructor took pictures of us. After we were boated in, we showered, changed, and they served us some tea while we wait for the pictures to be burned onto a CD. There was even a picture of us on the CD cover, and this was all for $80!!!

Nemo by Tanjung Benoa Ship Wreck

The snorkeling was quite the experience for both of us. I was quite terrified of all the fish (and other living beings) under the ocean while Keith was afraid of drowning (as he can't swim, but we had life vests on).To see all the fish though, after I've acclimatized, was pretty amazing. There were also these tiny jelly fish that stun me a little, but the stingy feeling (mostly itchiness) went away really quickly (within 15 minutes). After about 45 minutes in open waters,  I started to get a little dizzy, so we headed back. Wouldn't say I'm a huge fan of snorkeling, but we definitely both appreciated the experience, and the patience of the instructor. (Keith also appreciated being alive after swallowing big gulps of water within the first 15 minutes, it was quite dramatic, with hands waving in the air and all)

The last day in Bali, we just went to Carrefour to buy some souvenirs, ate lunch at Mamasan, and headed to the airport. Our driver took us to a fixed price souvenir store "Krisna" but we actually didn't see anything we liked there. Our flight stops in Jakarta for 5 hours, and we booked a cheap hotel room to freshen up and rest a bit. It sounds convenient and quick, but was actually quite the trip. First, we didn't know how to get the hotel to come pick us up, then we didn't know where to meet the driver. Among a sea of taxi drivers pandering, for some odd reason, the hotel driver actually eventually found us. But then he had to circle back to 2 other terminals to pick other people up, then it was another 20 minutes before we got to the hotel. We had but a total of an hour and a half at the hotel, then we were back to the airport again.

We had a scare while checking in at the airport too as the airline personnel found an issues with our ticket. They told us that out ticket had been canceled, and they had to get the managers involved before things were finally straightened out. This was the first time I've ever booked tickets through Expedia for TD and it was the worst experience I've ever had in my life. This was also the first time I've flown with US Airline and there were moments when I thought we were totally screwed. In the future, I don't know if I'd take US Airline again, I mean, I definitely won't use Expedia for TD anymore, but US Airline's price is pretty unbeatable.

Right Outside the Ngurah Rai International Airport in Bali

Regardless, we were back on a plane, headed back home.

This trip was definitely inspiring, exciting, and very different than what I had imagined. From the pagodas of Borobudur to the street vendors in Kuta, I'm just grateful we had the opportunity, that we got to see everything we wanted to, and made it home safely.